Dates and Mistakes
by AuroraTenchi
Summary: While Yami was on his date with Anzu, what was Yugi thinking? He was the one who set them up in the first place. Inspired by the manga and anime. YYxY One-shot Rated just to be overly safe.


Soooooooo I'm way rustier than I thought. My last attempt at a one-shot was a crash and burn if I've ever written one. I tried too hard and forced it. But I've told myself to just sit and write with no filter. No ifs ands or buts about it, I have to sit down and write if I ever want to practice to be better and get my mojo back.

This one-shot is a little more inspired. Sometimes I wonder just how other puzzleshippers take to the fact that Yugi did set Yami and Anzu up on a date. This is my interpretation of what was going through his mind while he was waiting to hear how it all went. I hope you all enjoy!

LINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELI NELINE

Outside the train station, I close my eyes and allow myself to slip inside my soul room. When I open them, I see the familiar walls of my room. I sit down amongst the toys and games and sigh. Time to settle in for a long day…

A part of me can't believe I actually followed through on something like this. Only weeks ago, I risked my life in a fire for my other self. That led to us pledging forever and…. I blush as I fiddle with a set of dice on the floor. I could divulge my mind into the memory of giving him my virginity and my love that night, but the knot in my stomach won't allow me to dwell on it any more than for a fleeting moment. I rotate the dice in my fingers of one hand. My other hand joins and I begin to roll them from palm to palm, my thoughts racing.

The faster my mind goes through all the events and feelings of the moment, I start to notice movement out the corner of my eyes. I realize I've been staring blankly at the floor so intently that my vision is slightly blurry. How long have I really been sitting here? My thoughts only trace back a minute, but how dependable is that? I still the dice and look up.

The walls are curiously quacking and changing color as I study my surroundings. I close my eyes, just in case the movement is going to dizzy me. I don't feel like getting any sicker to my stomach than I am already feeling. I cover my ears, the dice still in my hand. The harder I squeeze my hands around my head, the more they poke into my skin. I don't mind the pain. I just want the movement to stop. I wrack my mind for the answer, but can't find it. The same thought interrupts my attempts over and over again.

_Why did I just do that?_

The realization comes to me just as I begin to scream for sanity. My confusion within my own mind would most definitely influence the room that is my soul, my heart, and my mind. The answer both comforts and distresses me. How hurt am I that it is having this much of an effect? I move my hands away from my head and open my eyes.

_Breathe. Just breathe._

In and out. Ever so slowly, I try to regain my composure. If anything I begin to feel the exhaustion brought on my the stress in my mind (essentially, my surroundings). I lay on my back and let the dice fall where they will. The curious part of my mind wants me to sit up to see what numbers I landed on, but maybe I'll look later.

For now, I figure what needs to be sorted more than the toys I risked falling back on, are my thoughts. Because even I don't know why I did this.

Am I throwing away the first and best love I've found?

The days following our first night together felt strained somehow. We had confided in each other in the most intimate of ways, yet, the word 'forever' seemed to be painful for him. The word was easy for me to repeat back to him, but he hesitated before he spoke. What else could it be but me? I came on to strong, that's it. Did he want to tell me forever? Was he ready to say he loves me? Maybe I told him out of desperation. And maybe, just maybe, I thought sleeping with him would force him to keep the concept of forever alive.

The walls shift, almost as in anger. I flinch.

No! What the fuck am I saying? Of course I love him! I knew it the moment he had allowed me to see all that he had done to protect me and my friends. The fire…the fire had merely provided me a way to show him. No, I did nothing wrong in confessing. But was making love to him too far? Was there some other step that people take after their first time that I missed? I frown as I think. Maybe, if I don't tell Jou, I should watch more romantic movies. Is there some formula to relationships once they take a sexual turn? Is it unusual that we confessed our love the same night we shared a bed for the first time?

I scream out in frustration. I can't stop thinking! I can't stop over thinking! Am I?

Oh shit, what are they doing right now? I'll be she's fawning over him like a screaming fangirl at a boy band concert. Him? I'll be Mou Hitori no Boku is treating her like a lady, holding doors open for her, and holding her hand in public… We can never do that. We can never have a real date.

The walls of my mind suddenly feel tighter and confining. Suffocating almost. Is that really all from me? It can't be from him. My other self is most definitely happy right now. He doesn't need to think of me. I've given him the gift of a real relationship.

_Is this it?_

When my other self became distant, I was scared. I knew he needed help, but I didn't want to ask. If he's angry that I made him promise forever, then I'm not the one to talk to. But Anzu… Anzu is a girl. A real girl. He deserves that. He told me he wanted help before. He wanted to know things. I know he'll keep his promise, but if there's something he wants, then I know I can't give it to him. I can't give him anything. I scream again. He knows it. It took me too long to figure it out to myself. Maybe it's because I'm a boy too. Maybe he realized it and was just humoring me.

Does that mean he knew I was serious in my confession? My eyes widen. I've said that I love him every day. Whenever I try to get his attention, I let him know. He says it back, but makes some excuse about me having homework or tells me to go call my friends. He retreats to his soul room just as quickly as it takes him to say that he loves me back.

Just how confident am I that he means it too?

My sacrifice is a gift to him. If a relationship with a real person he can touch in the real world is what can help him feel better about himself, then that's what I'll give him. I've been worried about him when I'm not hurt by his alienation. What does he want? Why won't he tell me? If he promised, then it shouldn't be too hard for him to tell me.

_Maybe our love scares him as much as it scares me._

What future do we have? Is that what he needs to find out? I need that too. I need to know that when we said forever, it will be a forever of memories for us to share. A forever full of experiences. But how can we get these experiences if we can't… We can never be real, can we? Is he keeping secrets from me anyway? Even more painful that that mystery is the mystery of what the man I love is doing with the girl I've given him over to. And that's why I'm here. I'm a good friend. A good lover who gives his man the courtesy of having a date privately without his host watching every move.

I feel a headache coming on. I close my eyes again. _Please, _I think, _let me stop thinking. Make it like I don't exist. I don't want to wonder where they are, or if she's tried to kiss him. If he tried to kiss her back. _

The walls' movements are hypnotizing… I slip in an out of conscious. I feel like I'm falling into deeper dimensions of my mind. It's as if my soul room has dark chambers for such a purpose as this. To forget everything. I wonder how easily one can lose everything in this. I take the challenge and fall asleep on the edge of this. I stay on the edge. Maybe I can go numb to the dreams that threaten me.

_She reaches for his hand, and he doesn't hesitate to take it. They just had dinner, and are now heading toward the shore at sunset. He offers her a walk home and at the doorway, she shifts nervously and he pretends to look away shyly. She leans in first, but he takes it the rest of the way and-_

I'm suddenly fully conscious in my soul room. I'm sitting upright and I realize there is a knock at my door. It's absolutely no mystery as to who it is. I bolt up to my feet, but suddenly decide to not look desperate or scared. He's here to tell me how the day was. Did he learn anything? Did he find that a relationship with a real person could fulfill him? I'm jumping to the hard questions. What the fuck is wrong with me? Heh, I've been wondering that this whole time, haven't I?

While my fear drives my questions, I take my time stepping towards the door.

Once the door is opened, I make an effort to look like I had just been asleep. I had been, but I was very awake. Seeing my other self wasn't helping. The hallway is dimly lit from an unknown source, but it even takes me a couple seconds to adjust my eyes as I look up at him. His clothes reflect how he looks on the outside. They are just as straight as they had been when I'd left him. Even the bracelets he had insisted I didn't need were still on. No foul play. I almost sigh. His eyes don't yield anything, but they are looking at me intently.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Mou Hitori no Boku!" I say, pretending to be coming out of my sleepiness. Again, I'm perfectly awake. His presence merely excited me more. I keep my gaze on his eyes, praying they'll give me a hint as to the day's activities.

He's standing perfectly straight, simply looking at me. His eyes never take their intent gaze off me. I nervously lean against the open doorframe and run a hand through my hair. Oh shit, how bad must it look?

_Casual, Yugi. Casual._ I think to myself.

This feeling reminds me of how I felt the other day, actually coming up to Anzu and asking her to go out with the other me. No, I wasn't nervous because asking a girl out was something that I had been unable to do since birth, but because I was secretly wishing he would stop me. When he didn't, I think I began to talk slower, still holding out hope. Either way, I still managed to keep at least what I consider to be a casual front. I'm simply playing the part of someone whose friend needed help.

I meet his gaze. Oh those eyes… I had been thinking of them when I fell unconscious in the fire, and they were my first thought upon waking up in the hospital.

I figure I should rip it off like a band-aid. I have to ask.

"So how was your-" I begin the question, but his lips re on mine in an instant and I can no longer speak. He's kissing me! Does this mean that he doesn't love her? Is it possible I did him wrong by setting him up? Oh please don't be mad, Mou Hitori no Boku! I kiss him back.

He begins to push me back into my room, and I let him. I guess I wanted him to kiss me like this all day. I sense an unrest coming from his mind, but his actions calm me enough. Still unsure of how to feel about this, I let him undress me, and we pick up right where we left off the night we confessed.

Still, I have to wonder if I'm what he was searching for, or if it's the exact opposite? I forget it for a few fleeting moments and let him love me the way he wants to. I wouldn't have it any other way.

LINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELI NE

I've been wanting to write this one for a while. I finally decided to while watching the sub. My boyfriend is annoyed (or at least acts like it to tease me about my obsession with this shipping) by this, but he got me the entire series subbed for me on my birthday. Now I can watch something that doesn't distract me while I'm writing LOL I feel no shame in doing this as an adult living on her own. HA!

Please review. Constructive criticism is accepted, but not pointless flames please!


End file.
